JONATHAN Rauch persuasively demonstrates, central to everything else, that those of us who are not proponents of gay marriage do not have the option of hoping the issue will go away. As Rauch puts it, we have reached a bend in the river. Major changes will happen concerning the right of gays to engage in unions similar to marriage. The question is: How can that which is inevitable be shaped for the better by those policy options that remain open to us?